Loss

Today the topic of loss is on my mind, recently I had suffered from a miscarriage and even though it was only almost 6-7 week in, I had seen a bit glimpse of it from an ultrasound and heard a tiny, faint heartbeat when I went to the doctor. I was starting to bond with the baby growing inside of me and had picked out names and was wondering whose features it would get and when the loss occurred, it hit me pretty hard . This event, made me recall the first significant loss of a loved one in my life at the age of 10. My mother had just come home from being sick and I made her a bologna sandwich with chips and a soda. After she finished eating, we crawled into bed and fell asleep with her arms wrapped around me. In the morning, I woke up to kiss her good morning and she was gone, no breath, no movement. Nothing at all to indicate that there was life within and for a long period of time, I thought that I was to blame for her death. The situation of loss can be a tough one to bear. In that moment, I felt sadness for the loss of not being able to see my child grow up. Right now its hard to understand what good does God have for me in all of this. Romans 8:28 says that he had the power to make all things work together for the good to those who love him. And even though there is a loss in my life, I still love God and still trust in his will and pray that he’ll give me the strength to bear through this.