Back On Track

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
-- Albert Einstein

Recent events in my life have made me realize that my biggest hindrance to growing and making progress is myself. Einstein’s quote perfectly describes the state of chaos that has become the bane of my existence because I’ve been stuck in a rut of doing the same thing over and over, while expecting my situation to change. I’m thankful that I can realize that I’ve become nothing more than a human hamster stuck in a perpetual wheel of my own creation. I set goals to achieve more, and be more but I keep applying the same outdated methods that really are not relative to the results I desire. I know that I can’t be alone in where I am and I do desire to get out of this. And although the process of change isn’t easy, it is possible if one is determined to realize that you are just funding insanity with your actions.

My first step that I need to take is to assess where I am right now and this moment and accept where I am in a true and honest way. I know I didn’t fall in to chaos overnight, and I can’t get out in one day but I can make progress if I take it one step at a time; also I need to get back on the GTD bandwagon, because it really works for me if I’d let it. Secondly, I need to take some time out and get reorganized because I’ve been busy but my busyness has been more of quantity and not that of quality. For example, I have a bunch of projects that are just in states of limbo and these projects could have been completed but due to my state of exhaustion from dealing with the wrong (issues and people) I have sabotaged my chances for success. Often we spend time trying to help and please people that are nothing more than energy vampires that suck our time, love and resources to the fullest and leave us broken; right now off the top of my hand I have 3 people in my life that are in that category but I have yet to get bold and cut them out like they need to be. Then on the other hand I have some great people in my life that I end up not being able to appreciate or spend time with because that small minority is just running me ragged. It is time for this to just stop period because they don’t add any value to my life, they just take it away.

Yesterday my Dad spoke on the subject of what would your friends do for you from Mark 2:1-4, and I realized that he had an excellent point about we are whom we surround ourselves with. I realize that amongst all of the people I know, there are some true gems in my life. Often I let myself get so caught up in I need to do this and that and this by myself that I wear myself down and put up walls to shut out the people that genuinely care about me. Being in isolation can be a very dangerous place, when you get too isolated you can risk developing depression, or you can end up thinking that you don’t need anyone else to help you. I admit that it’s not a pretty place because you really lose your perspective on yourself and your perception of the relationships in your life can become twisted, not to mention the fact that you can be paranoid/anxious/sad. We need more people in our lives that can contribute to our betterment; we deserve to have friendships with ourselves that help us to be authentic and our best selves rather and inspire us to grow.