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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Bring it to Brazil

Published by Gina Calhoun at 1:11 PM

I had read a bit about Professional Black Men heading to Brazil for the sake of sex tourism. Its interesting that this is becoming a trend, I've watched the “Beautiful” video where there are all these exotic looking women wandering around in bikinis, I've peeped the flicks where Brazilian girls give it all they've got. Brazil's poor economy combined with gorgeous women who for the right price will make the connection creates a lot of interesting relationships. The basis of relationships is all about negotiation, good(functional) ones feature a higher percentage of compromise and win-win negotiations, while bad(dysfunctional) ones have a lot of win-lose negotiation going on and usually one person is winning a lot more than the other one.

In the case of Brazil sex tourism, its win-win. The woman gains a source of income, while the man gains the pleasure of having his ego and manhood validated, without all the drama and messiness that comes with a traditional relationship; and the uncertainty that a man's money may not get him what he wants during the process of dating. Often men will wine and dine a woman and get treated like crap, or get taken advantage of; and it does happen on the occasion when a woman pays for things as well. The fact that a man is willing to travel to Brazil for the sake of being able to experience this, makes me wonder what has really happened here in America that they can't get that here?

I wish I could have someone go out of their way to make my life easier, or not have to worry about bills. It's hard out there to be truly independent, living where it is just you and your income alone, on one hand no one has to tell you what to do, but on the other hand if you come up short, its YOU coming up short and you have to be accountable; so when I hear from my male friends how bad they have it, I think of how stupid their woman has to be. I've been on my own since I got my first job at 14 ½ my mom cut me off and I had to learn how to take care of myself; and if I had a man willing to pay bills without me having to trick him, I really don't think its beneath me to take care of his needs.

I can admit I envy women who have it where they don't really have to be stressed out because they have a man who wants to take care of them. Currently I have a few male friends that are in relationships with women who just don't appreciate them. One, has a wife that he buys property for, the other takes care of the bills, and the other one has a girlfriend who just won't work but he loves her and lets her not work. But on the other hand they never seem to get any; which makes no sense to me. A man who is on his business and is out there hustling; so when I get my check I really don't have to do much in terms of paying bills is a blessing. Being able to spend it how ever I want and still have a roof over my head, and food, and a car to drive means that making a meal, washing his clothes, or taking care of him is a fair trade. Its a dumb strategy to not cater to a man who caters to you.

But on the other hand I have met a great majority of men who want you to cater to them but they don't want to commit. For example there is the guy who calls you when he's leaving the club or some other function where he didn't invite you, and he didn't get lucky. But then on top of that he wants to know what you got to eat, or will you cook, and can he borrow some money, or your car and wants to get his rocks off and could really care less about if you get yours or not. This is not a win-win situation, I get nothing out of it except lost time, missing food, and I could of done better with some heavy-duty batteries.

In all I can't really hate on women who work in the sex industry. I think about all the lousy dates I've had and some of the free nookie; that wasn't worth it. Basically, in some ways its straight dry and to the point, isn't that really the mission of a guy when he takes a girl out on a date? He spends his cash and time hoping at the end of the night he will get some. In this case going to Brazil, dropping some cash on a girl who will do all the things without the drama is a viable option; both parties win and in the end that's what it is all about.

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